JOKES
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why did the Cyclops give up teaching? because he only had one pupil. |
what happens to authors when they die? they become ghost writers. |
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what happened to the girl who swallowed a spoon? she didn't stir. |
what did the missionaries give the cannibals? their first taste of christianity. |
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what did the mortician sign after a particularly nice funeral? oh, what a beautiful mourning! |
why did the evil chicken cross the road?
for a fowl reason. |
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what do you get when a vampire bites a rat? a neighborhood without cats. |
what happens when you fail to pay an exorcist? you get repossessed. |
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where do hangmen look for jobs? in the noosepaper. |
why did the vampire win an art scholarship? because of the way he drew blood. |
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how do you find vampire snails? on the ends of vampire's fingers. |
sign outside a crematorium: urn more - pay less. |
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what do you call someone who thinks he's a big black bird? a raven maniac. |
what do ghouls learn to write in school? death sentences. |
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ghost #1: what is the hardest thing about learning to skydive? ghost #2: the ground!
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Cryptkeeper: my father died from drinking furniture polish. Vaultkeeper: yes, but what a fine finish he had. |
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why do vampires make cheap dinner dates? because they eat necks to nothing. |
what do you get when you cross a ghost with a cow? vanishing cream. |
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what happened to the cannibal after he ate the comedian? he felt funny. |
why won't vampires drink chicken blood? because its fowl tasting. |
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what do you get if you cross a mummy with a cd? a wrap song.
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what was the monster's favorite class? home eccccccchhhhhhh. |
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what do you call a mummy that eats crackers in bed? a crummy mummy. |
what would you get if you crossed a vampire with a gazelle? a quick bite. |
